The second time around

I started birth control pills today. It always seems a little weird to begin this most aggressive form of fertility treatments with birth control pills. Of course, I understand why I'm taking them, but it still seems paradoxical.

As the thought of actually going through another IVF has started to sink in, I'm filled with anxiety and fear. How hard is this going to be when chasing ARB around the room? How will the drugs effect me this time? Will I still get those horrible Lupron headaches again? How am I going to manage ER and ET with ARB? What if this doesn't work? MTB and I had a major heart to heart the other day, and I think he's forgotten how hard this process is on the body. I think I had forgotten about it too.

I should get my calendar tomorrow.