Friday, November 27, 2009

FET - done

Okay, not done yet but we made a decision and we have a calendar. Based on the conversation with RE, we decided to go for an FET. The plan is to thaw our 10, frozen, 3 day embryos and let them grow to 5 day blasts and transfer on Jan 9. RE doesn't like the idea of a natural cycle, so I'm on birth control pills for a while and then 20 units of Lupron for a while. Ten units killed me with headaches so I am not looking forward to 20.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Movin' on

I don't know if I am really done being sad, but I am certainly ready to move on. My cycle started yesterday, and it's horrible. My lining was really thick because of all the extra hormones, and it's really showing itself right now. Yuck. My follow-up appointment with RE isn't until next Monday, but I plan to start taking birth control pills again tomorrow. I go back and forth between a frozen embryo transfer and another fresh IVF. If I have to wait a whole month on birth control pills and take Lupron, I might as well just go for a fresh cycle. The only real differences that I can see at this point are stims, which really aren't that bad, and retrieval, were I am knocked out anyway. I think a fresh cycle will give us the best odds and that's where I'm leaning... today. Tomorrow could be different.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

IVF#2 Timeline

I decided that it's time to move the timeline for IVF#2 from the sidebar, but I certainly wanted to keep it for future reference. Here it is - in all its failure...

*Sept 14 - Start BCP
*Sept 28 - Sonohystogram and mock transfer
*Oct 8 - Sono and start Lupron (10 units)
*Oct 14 - Last BCP
*Oct 19 - Sono and labwork
*Oct 20 - Start stims (Follistim and Menopur) and Dexamethasone
*Oct 22 - Sono and labwork (E2 = 87, 5 measurable follicles)
*Oct 24 - Sono and labwork (E2 = 352, 18 measurable follicles )
*Oct 26 - Sono and labwork (E2 = 961, 26 measurable follicles )
*Oct 28 - Sono and labwork (E2 = 2222, 30 measurable follicles)
*Oct 29 - Sono and labwork (20 mature follicles + 10 others)
*Oct 31 - Retrieval (12 mature eggs + 5 more that could mature in culture)
*Nov 1 - Fert report - (16 eggs fertilized of which 14 are considered good/excellent quality and 2 arrested)
*Nov 3 - Transferred 3, 8-celled embryos (1 grade A and 2 grade B) and froze 10 on day 3 (bedrest x 4 days)
*Nov 13 - Negative

Friday, November 13, 2009

The end of this road

I am not pregnant. I am sad, I have a headache, and I feel sick to my stomach, but I am most certainly not pregnant. I was sitting on the floor with ARB yesterday when the thought that she may never be a big sister hit me like a ton of bricks, and I started to cry. She has never seen me cry before, and she was fascinated by the tears rolling down my face. She crawled over, climbed up my arm, and touched my tears. She is amazing, and how can I be sad for long when I have this amazing little girl in my life? She and MTB are everything to me, and I am so grateful that we have each other.

We are currently trying to decide what to do next and when to do it. Initially, I was leaning toward another IVF as quickly as possible, but if I were allowed to cycle again starting with this next cycle, stims and/or retrieval would end up right about the time that MTB and I hoped to spend a week at the cabin. I'm wondering if an FET (frozen embryo transfer) would be a better option to get us through the end of the year.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

The day before beta - 9dp3dt

I lied. Last night, I found 2 home pregnancy tests underneath the sink. One was a traditional pee stick and the second was a digital. Both are negative. Today, little else hurts as much as seeing the words, "Not Pregnant." I'm hoping we can talk with RE tomorrow to decide our best options moving forward. We have 11 embryos on ice, but all are less than stellar quality. Given we still have coverage, I wonder if it makes more sense to move forward with another fresh cycle asap?

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Another 24 hours - 8dp3dt

I asked MTB to hide my pee sticks. Testing is just too hard, and I'll wait until Friday. My plan at this point is to go in for the blood draw at 9:30 then maybe I'll test after that. MTB has meetings Friday so maybe I won't, and I won't answer the phone either. We can check the message together later in the afternoon. He better not get the phone call or I'll be seriously pissed.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The wait continues - 7dp3dt

It was completely negative this morning. I thought I could see a line, but I think I was fooling myself. Last time, I didn't even get a hint of a second until 9 days past transfer so I still have a day or two until I reach that point. I read a study that suggested that ICSI procedures tend to result in lower betas for viable pregnancies, on average, than a non ICSI IVF procedure. To me, that means they tend to implant later. At least that's what I'm hoping. The wait is killing me.

Monday, November 9, 2009

The longest wait

What all of the readers of my original blog don't know is that I tested out my trigger, and I knew I was pregnant 2 days before the beta. It didn't feel right to announce anything based on the home pregnancy test especially before we announced to our families. In any case, I started testing at 8 days past egg retrieval and got a very slight positive, which only meant that my system was still showing the effects of the hCG booster shot I got the day after transfer. The test was completely negative the next day. I continued to test and at 11 days past egg retrieval, I was still holding a completely, stark white home pregnancy test. I was devastated. The next day, Memorial Day 2008, I got the first hint of a second, pink line, and it was magnificent! MTB and I celebrated by driving to some small town or another and having breakfast at the smallest, greasiest diner in Texas.

For this cycle, I tested for the first time this morning at 9 days past egg retrieval. There is a hint of a line, which only means that I could still be showing the effects of the hCG booster shot I got the day after transfer or I am pregnant. I don't know a thing, but I'll test again tomorrow and the day after and the day after that hoping that the line gets darker. The waiting really is the hardest part (to paraphrase Tom Petty) and it sucks.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Transfer x3

We transferred 3 embryos on Tuesday, November 3. This time around, it seemed much more anticlimactic than it did the first time around, and yet it was still super exciting. I'm still not sure why we didn't push for a 5 day transfer since we still had 13 embryos growing strong in the lab. We ended up transferring the best 3 and freezing 10 on day 3.

MTB's mother was here to take care of ARB while I was on bed rest - 4 days of bed rest! We had breakfast and headed over the hospital for our 12:30 appointment. After spending more time than I hoped with my legs wide in the air, it was done. I didn't have to wait as long to go to the bathroom this time around, but I waited anyway and listened to a meditation designed for post-transfer. I was home and in bed by 3:00.

We got a picture* of our embryos this time around, and I have to say that these are some fine looking kids...



I hope at least 1 decides to stick around for a while.

*The real life picture is so much better, but I took one with my iPhone since I never remembered to ask MTB to scan it for me.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Tiki power, activate

In preparation for our first cycle, a kind blog friend sent me a pair of tiki fertility cups, which probably had a lot to do with the fact that she had twins. I was touched that a) someone I didn't know would be interested in our success and b) that someone would part with something with so much lore within her own family. The cups worked and I passed them onto another blog friend.



Last night, the night before our transfer, MTB surprised and amused me when he produced 2 new tiki fertility cups for us to toast our baby and hope for success. By remembering something so silly, he has again proven himself the sweetest and most loving man on earth.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Day 2

So, we still don't have any new news on our growing embryos across town, but I went for a check up this morning. As expected, I have lots of fluid in my abdomen, which is causing all the discomfort. Maybe I don't understand, but transfer has been scheduled for tomorrow at 12:30. I would have though that with 14 fertilized eggs, we would wait until tomorrow to see if we would end up with a 3 or 5 day transfer, but it seems the decision has been made and day 3 it is. On the one hand, we got pregnant with a 3 day transfer once and lots of women do, but on the other hand, it would have been nice to see what tomorrow brings before making the decision.

MTB's mother arrives tonight to help take care of ARB. Four whole days of bed rest for me and I'm not supposed to pick up my baby. I wonder how well this is going to work out?

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Fert report

MTB got the call instead of me, and that makes me mad. But whatever.

To recap, we got 12 mature eggs yesterday and 5 more that RE thought could mature in culture. Of those, 16 fertilized overnight. (Not sure what the mix is of the mature vs matured eggs.) As of this morning, we have 14 fertilized eggs that are considered good/excellent quality and 2 that were not. Those last two arrested and are no longer developing. We won't know until Tuesday if we are going in for a 3 or 5 day transfer.